hello again...

Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving...

Mine was nice.  My sister was here, her daughter, and then my Mom and George.  It was really nice having everyone here.  I cooked, and served and cleaned up, and when I needed help, I called in my sisters assistance...

So the holiday is over, I got the extension of my disability to January 3rd.  I have an appointment with the Neurosurgeon on the 14th.  Now, let me say this, and someone has tried to explain this to me.. but I still don't get it.  Nobody locally wants to do surgery... right?  That includes me by the way.  I have this thing in my head on my brainstem, they call it a tumor, although technically it isn't a tumor, it is a "raspberry" type of growth, that the Neurosurgeon doesn't want to remove ... and it is causing me some "problems", which are neurological in nature... So then explain to me if this thing that isn't being operated on, is causing neurological problems, and it has been said... "I am surprised you aren't having more problems than you are?" This would indicate to me that I "should" be having some pretty bad issues with my balance and vision. 

They are telling me that the best they can do is hope that I have a long life with struggles.  Ok, $135.00 dolla, see ya around....  Oh... forms, you want me to say you can't drive, or can't manage all of your responsibilities, and issues in life... sorry, I can't say that...!

Also, I was through this in 2005.  Same thing.. but it got better.  At that time this "raspberry" was 6 mm... it is 15 mm now.  In 2005, when I got better... I went back to work.  I asked to go back to work...  I knew that I could drive without any problems, and I could do my job, and I was anxious to get back to work. 

I don't get it... I really don't get it...  Maybe I should be seeing a shrink, instead of a Neurosurgeon... Because this one really has me stumped.

I am not lazy, I have been working since I was 18.  That is 44 years, for those who don't want to do the math.  Full time working...No children, so none of that maternity leave, and time off to be a Mom.  I have only had maybe 4 or 5 employers.  In that amount of time, even I am impressed.  I take care of my 86 year old Mother.  I take care of my husband... I tried to take care of my Mom and Dad's affairs, when my Dad became very ill, just short of 10 years.  Long distance.  Which means I had to pay someone to do what needed to be done that I couldn't do myself.  I now have this house over 2000 square feet, 3.5 bathrooms to keep clean... one of those bathrooms is my mothers.  3 dogs, one being diabetic, this one belongs to my Mother, needs insulin shots twice a day.  Good Meals, well rounded meals.  Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner.

What I haven't mentioned was that my boss told me this past March that I get paid about 25% too much money, and at any time my employer could say... you have a choice, take a pay cut and keep your job, or don't take the pay cut, get about 6 months of severance, and then you are on your own. Or... You are not productive enough in you position, What was that.. you have a neurological condition, well, that is just an excuse....You are the weakest link... GOODBYE!

And now all of a sudden, at this point in my life, when I need some help I am being told, sorry, you really don't have anything wrong with you...  Not sure what I could do to help.  Well, yea... I guess there is "SOMETHING" wrong with you... but it isn't bad enough.  Wait till it gets worse.. then we will deal with it.  No sense in being proactive.  Now... on to extending tax cuts for the wealthiest people in the country... You know we are in bad financial times... and this is the wrong time to make those people feel uneasy, or in jeopardy!!!!