Wish I had a job where I could do something rewarding...

I have to admit, my paycheck is about the most rewarding thing about this job... and believe me, it is ok, but not obsene by any stretch of the imagination.

I find myself sitting at my desk, looking out the window... (yes I have a window), thinking about all the things I could be doing that are productive. Sewing, gardening, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the animals. Riding my bicycle to the store to pick things up (groceries and sundries). But instead I sit here typing orders, answering questions, getting yelled at by various individuals for things I have no control over.... etc., etc.

I have been working since I was 18 years old. That is 30 years... you do the math... I am not an old lady, by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel like if I keep doing this for very long I will be old.

I think I come into the office every morning, and sit behind this desk and obsess for about 15-20 minutes, about how much I wish I didn't have to come here....

Now mind you, there are those that would say... "Consider yourself lucky to have a job...", the first one being my employer, not to imply that I am not a good employee. And, to them I have to say, "I do consider myself lucky..." but I would like to be happy and lucky at the same time.

Like for instance the person who was in a bad car accident, that survived, albeit banged up pretty bad... they are lucky, right? But, let's face it, they could be happier, especially if they are holed up in a hospital room with people they have absolutely nothing in common with, except that they are all in the hospital....

So.. that brings me to another thing... we have this committee, called the EAS committee... EAS stands for Employee Attitude Survey.... It evolved from a survey that was taken a few years back where the company found that there was a serious attitude problem in our office. So they formed this committee, (which I was a part of the inaugural committee), and did some research and found that there were policies that needed some tweaking, etc. Well, when the committee and management, came to some comprimises, there was nothing left to do, it was decided we should do things to lift moral. Well, that is when my philosophy and the philosophy of my peers in the office part ways.... I don't need to do activities in the office. I need to do my job, which is making my customers happy, meet my quoatas, and get the heck out of Dodge everyday at 5:00. But instead the EAS committee the following years started doing things like raising funds for a yearly Holiday Party, contests, cookouts. Well, I don't go to the Holiday Party... LIke I said, I have nothing in common with these people, why would I want to spend a Saturday night, eatting some sort or plastic Pasta Primavera (I am vegetarian), listen to some lame DJ or sorry excuse of a band. But, I am expected to get involved in the fund raising for something I don't have any desire to be a part of. So when they have a garage sale/silent auction, I am EXPECTED to bring something in to put on the table to sell, or if I have nothing at home, I am expected to bake something and put it on the table to sell.

Now tell me if that wouldn't piss you off. When I leave here at 5:00, it is bad enough I have to think about going to bed at a reasonable time, to get up to be here. I leave here on Friday night and I don't want to think about this place till I get back on Monday. I don't want to go home and bake something to bring here. I want to go home and do the things I wish I could be doing when I am sitting at my desk.

Is there something wrong with that...?