Yesterday George and I went to a stroke support group at Florida Hospital in Orlando. It happened to be in the Florida Room, that George and I sat with many guests and used to spend a lot of time in. It brought back some very bad memories. Both because this was the hospital that Mom was in, and I was just there, only a week ago, and not for very good reason, and of course that is where I spent 10 days only 4 years at not such a good time with George.
It was rough, just all around rough. This group was for people under 50 that have had strokes. It was so hard, and so gut wrenching. I wanted to run out, but I couldn't, even if I were able to. All these people who never experienced stroke, or their experience was fairly recent, and the only time they experienced it. I wanted to do more for them, but there is nothing I could have done.
I wanted to talk to them, I wanted to tell my story about my Angioma, but I know that no one would have understood... not even the physical therapists there. They were talking about the "angioplasty" and the surgery they had done. They were hungry for information, yet they did not have the patience (maybe because of the stroke, or maybe they never had it) to listen. They were all impulsive. Almost rude, but not at all intentionally. It was like being with my Dad, and George, right after both of their strokes, only multiply it by about 10.
George had said he wished it could have been controlled more, or led. From our standpoint, I have to agree. However to suit the purpose of the meeting.. probably not. See, most, no, maybe half, of these people had their strokes with in a year or 6 months. They were still, a lot of them going through PT. They needed to not work so hard for an hour or so, around others struggling like themselves. Believe it or not, many had insurance but it didn't cover occupational therapy, or speech therapy. Those are the two that make you feel as though you are getting back to yourself. Those are the two that give you the social skills that are missing. Gosh I have a big problem with that. What a person needs most, is not to feel like an outcast. The obvious disability will be the physical one, and yes that needs to be addressed, by all means. What was good is that the physical therapists were there to give everyone hand outs to help them address those needs if they wanted them. What I am afraid is that many of the people who needed this information, wouldn't follow up with it at home. Maybe they didn't have the support at home, or maybe the support they had didn't understand the importance of being there, or being positive.
All in all, it was a hard 2 hours for me. At the end while we were walking out, I was feeling very dizzy. Part of it was because I was hungry, but a lot of it was my angioma kicking my ass a little bit. You know what, all I wanted was to get out of there as soon as possible. As far away from there as I could, and it was becoming a race against my tears. The last thing I wanted to do was be around the Stroke Club, or in the hospital when the water works started flowing.
I felt kind of selfish, but it was a bit more than I could bear at the time.
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